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about
Within the digital age, many people seek out forms of intimacy through a digital space; dating apps, webcam relationships, enable us to create new identities that abstract us from the complexity of our physical and gendered forms.
To a space that can often be hyper-gendered, and hyper-sexualised, but devoid of individuality or personality… People become non-people, within non-spaces… instead are the recognisable shapes and forms of pillows, or covers, wall hangings, chairs... enshrine the fragmented bodily forms and/or genitalia that the webcam captures, lit by the glow of the monitor.
Here, the figure is speaking about the reality of Cam-Sex interactions; a site of escapism, where they can abstract their self from their physical reality and become fantasy; removed from the complexity and confrontation they face when engaging in physical interactions with their gendered form.
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The process for this composition began with a single original piece of music, which acts as the conceptual frameworks from which the larger-scale work manifested, through sampling and resampling of the song as source material, as well as delving deeper into the personal-conceptual meaning and narrative.
This is a solo project. The sound design comprises of WebCam-chat Recordings, Modular Synthesis, Extended Vocal Techniques, and their cat Minnie.
(Listen out for her, she appears twice…!) Meow!!!
lyrics
SPOKEN:
It’s very much a place for me
where I can express sexuality with anonymity
Where I can express my physicality, my sexuality
and remove the complexity of my body
In physical scenarios, often the presence of my identity conflicts with who I am appearing as, or being perceived as, and it feels confronting, un-arousing
There’s an element of control here
There’s an element of fantasy and performance
The impermanence of it, the immediacy of it
And there is no susceptibility to physical violence, or entrapment
But that does not mean it is without risks, or issues...
There is no one to hold afterwards, or be held by
There is no aftercare
When they finish, often it is before me, and then they disappear into the void again
Never see them again
And I am left alone
the next person might flicker onto the screen before I’ve closed the webcam... to finish myself off, with myself, if I do finish
People often screen record the interaction. So you have to be careful not to be recorded in that way, and end up on some website somewhere...
Got to be vigilant to not show your face
Sometimes you might think you’re interacting with a real, live person, but sometimes they are a recording of another person.... a catfish... used to record you in the same way...
——
I sent a piece of myself
Did you get my message?
I been throwing myself
Against the wall
Did you get my message through?
——
T-t-t-touch the screen
F-f-f-feel without feeling
T-t-t-touch within
F-f-f-feel me here
——
A final text message
To clarify
A snap remains
Left unread
A body awaiting
Validation
——
Your message
Come through
Message
I got a picture
Of you.
Assemble
Bodieee-eee-eeeeeeee-eeees
——
I find ourself here
A figure on the peripherals
Glinting softly
On the edge of
Distorted and climax
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